Not Football
by dragonekokin
Summary: Arthur is trying to study hard but suffers an injury thanks to Alfred. After a bit of fighting, they make up and things happen. Then Arthur runs off into the terrible woods. It's said the woods are home to the darkest and most dangerous creatures. This was a gift for fitzvigilant. It's badly written and I have no knowledge of the fandom.


Author's Apology: Set in the Axis Powers School for appropriately aged boys, broken fourth walls and non-canon retconning. I am not familiar with APH so sorry if I ruin your fandom. Any similarity to actual APH characters is coincidental. I may inconsistently and incorrectly use the names America/England/Alfred/Arthur, but when I originally told it I was randomly using Arthur/Alfred/Albert! I've made it more coherent but kept it pretty much the same as the original - there's some lazy plot devices! Happy Valentine's Day K!

 _It was a sunny day and many of the students were just chilling and watching netflix. A few were more adventurous and had left the comfort of their bedrooms to play outdoors. They sat on the grass or played ball on the grounds, careful not to go beyond the rickety fencing and into the woodland. The woods were dark and dangerous, all students were fearful of what might lurky beyond the fence and no one dared enter. It's said the woods are home to the darkest and most dangerous creatures. Spiders? Giants? Scorpions? Snakes? Vengeful boyfriend pigeons? Who knows.._

Arthur was hunched over his desk, head in a book, his eyebrows furrowed as he heard the joyful screaming and shouting of the boys playing outside. He tried to focus on the book before him, but instead found his teeth grinding in frustration as he made out the shrieks of Francis and a chuckle from Alfred.

How dare Francis have so much fun with Alfred! And how obnoxious of Al to be so boisterous when he knows I've work to do. Now he's so big and popular I guess he doesn't care about me any more.

Arthur slammed his book shut in frustration, rose from his chair and spun to storm out of his room, but before he could take a step he heard the twinkling of breaking glass and everything went dark.

He awoke to the sight of twinkling stars and little birdies fluttering around his head, before his eyes shifted and the blurry (yet clearly horrified) shame of Alfred came into view. He let his sore head roll to the side and saw a spattering of glass along with an American football.

"OhmyGod!Iamsosorry!AreyouokayArther?" blurted out Alfred in a panicked voice, as came to kneel over Arthur. He patted Arthur all over, checking his chest, his hips, his arms for broken bones. Alfred was briefly distracted by the idea to perform a more thorough examination of his body, but a groan from his patient refocussed him on the medical emergency.

Alfred, straddled over Arthur's chest grabbed his face in his hands hand shook the bleary eyed boy,

"ARE YOU OKAY?! DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR NAME?!" he spoke, clearly and loudly this time, "YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT, YOU MAY BE CONFUSED".

Arthur pushed with all his might to get America off him who had failed to realise he was sat on the poor boy's chest. American tumbled backwards and Arthur gasped for air,

"It wasn't an accident, it was a pillock with a so-called football" spat the annoyed Arthur, "why don't you watch what you're doing?!".

He rose to his feet as Alfred looked up at him from the floor. It had been a long time since he'd been taller than Alfred and he smiled internally. But he didn't get much chance to appreciate the view as the rush of blood from standing caused him to faint.

 _Author's note: Arthur was unconscious for quite a while. In that time, Alfred places him into bed, tends to his wounds (there weren't any), cleans up the broken glass and makes some coffee. Japan walked in briefly to find Alfred unbuttoning Arthur's shirt. Supposedly he was checking for broken ribs and Japan suggested it's better to feel for such things with your hands, not your tongue and invited Alfred to join the school's first aid course. Alfred said he would think about it, but didn't seem interested. It wasn't until later that evening that it occurred to Japan that it was weird that America wasn't wearing trousers._

"Hey, you're awake. Sorry you got hit with my football."

Arthur looked around blearily. He almost didn't notice that he seemed to have misbuttoned his shirt. He was propped on the bed with Alfred sat on a chair to face him, holding his hand. He looked so concerned! Arthur, now rested and feeling fine felt his heart melt for the boy. All that frustration and annoyance had disappeared and was replaced with the sweetest feeling, a lustful feeling even that made him just want to grab Alfred's body and- **SLURRRRRRRRRRP**

The sound of Alfred slurping coffee broke Arthur's train of thought and he glared at the boy. Sheepishly grinning in apology, Alfred set down his coffee cup, leading Arthur's eyes to a patina of cup rings across the desktop.

Furious, Arthur rose out of the bed and walked to the football that still lay on the floor. Arthur held the ball up, paused briefly to wink at the fourth wall, and said "This? This is NOT football.". He drop kicked the ball with all his might, sending it back out of the smashed window and sailing off over the fence to finally land deep in the woods in a plot-convenient feat of inhuman strength.

It's said the woods are home to the darkest and most dangerous creatures.

"GET OUT! AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" screamed Arthur.

Alfred tried to protest, he had meant no harm but he could not find a way to make things better, so he left with his head low.

As a furious Arthur wiped the cup rings from his desk (as best he could - some just never seem to go) he found a light blue envelope, inside a crudely but lovingly made "get well soon" card from Alfred, complete with a naughty little doodle that made him grin.

He sighed and collapsed onto the bed, feeling bad for how he had reacted.

He lay there for a long time, thinking about all the redeeming qualities America had, even if he was a bit of a prat sometimes. He lay there until that magic time of evening - after dark, after everyone has eaten, after prime-time television, when everyone is talking about sleep, but actually grab their laptops for a cheeky browse in incognito mode. But tonight he was going to leave his laptop where it was and instead make things right with Alfred.

He left his bedroom and headed down the West Wing with a smile on his face, keen to be close with Al again. As he made his way down the cold, stone corridors of the school he couldn't help but feel a chill down his spine - last time he wandered the school at night, Peeves, the school's poltergeist, had ambushed him (but that's another story). As he approached the door to Alfred's room he felt his palms begin to sweat and his heart beat in nervousness and fear. What if they didn't make up? What if he didn't want to be disturbed?

In a moment of panic he span and ran from the door, colliding almost immediately into someone much larger than him and clattering to the floor. Sitting up he saw America stood over him, holding his laptop and looking slightly sweaty, he helped Arthur to his feet with his free hand.

"I was just in the library. I was thinking about you.. how are you getting on?" he asked, brushing imaginary dust from England's shoulders.

"I am soooooooo sorry, I don't know what came over me. I've been really stressed about homework and you seem to have it so easy and it's just all been a bit too much. My head was really sore and I was so rude. You were so sweet and kind to me and I was just awful!" Arthur spilled over and let it all out, not giving Alfred a chance to get a word in.

"Well I'm glad you're alright now" beamed Alfred, "would you like to come in? You might have a concussion so I don't think you should be wandering the hallways alone.".

Alfred's room had a slightly sweaty, musky "boy" smell to it with gentle undertones of McDonald's and KFC. It was a scent that Arthur knew well and it filled him with excitement at the thought of tasting on America's meat. Maybe they could go to town for a burger or something tomorrow.

His walls were covered in various posts of girls partially glad in American football outfits. The shelves were littered with trophies, magazines and various sporting goods including a baseball and a bat. It all looked extremely well cared for and America clearly loved his sports. There was one large gap however.

"Oh.. is this where your football goes? You really love all your stuff, was it special?.."

Alfred's expression dropped slightly "yes.. it was a gift I received from an author after I did him a favour advancing the plot. It means a great deal to me, but I'm sure it will turn up. I thought I'd go out and look for it tomorrow".

"But, but, I kicked it.. into the woods.. it won't turn up." quivered Arthur, "It's said the woods are home to the darkest and most dangerous creatures. You can't go in there!"

Alfred put his arms around Alfred and pulled the boy's head into his chest, feeling tears soak into into his shirt, "Don't you worry about it. It's a magic football, it's exactly where it needs to be and whatever happens is what is supposed to happen."

"I'm so sorry I did that, when you were so good to me" Arthur sobbed.

Alfred chuckled, "You do remember you got hit in the head with MY football right? I'm the one that should be apologising. At least now you can get a break from your studies with some sick leave. But for now, I think you just need to get some sleep. Stay here and I'll watch over you until we're sure you're not concussed.".

Arthur looked up at Alfred, smiling slightly as a tear ran down his cheek, "Than-" he tried to say, but stopped as he felt America kiss his lips.

It was the gentlest, lightest kiss for a moment, before Arthur threw his hands around America and held him tightly. Moist warm tongues brushed against each other. America moved his hands down Arthur's body, grabbing his ass and pulling his body in close. Arthur felt a hardness through the fabric of Alfred's trousers who was becoming more forceful as his hands moved around. Arthur let Alfred guide him towards the bed, pushing him back onto it roughly.

Alfred stood over the bed, pulling the clothes off Arthur in a frenzy of passion, he paused for the briefest moment to turn off the light.

It was still dark when Arthur woke between Alfred's arms with a smile on his face. The smile faded when he saw the blank spot on the shelf where the football was supposed to be.

It's said the woods are home to the darkest and most dangerous creatures, but after some thought, Arthur made up his mind. He lost the ball, he would find it again. He gently slipped from America's arms and slipped out of the room.

By the time he had dressed and packed a bag of essentials to help him through the treacherous woodland the sun was rising. The grass sparkled with morning dew and made the prospect of exploring the woods a lot less terrifying.

Although the sun was rising, as he got closer to the fence the sky seemed to darken as clouds grew darker and thicker. Close up he could see that the fence was little more than some rotting posts and steel wire that was easy to slip through. A few feet before the fence stood an large wooden sign that read:

 **THE WOODS ARE HOME TO THE DARKEST AND MOST DANGEROUS CREATURES** **DO NOT ENTER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES**

The ground beyond the fence was barren, littered with dry leaves and twigs. Arthur was sure he could make out bones. There was an eeery silence and every bone in his body told him to run, but Arthur was steadfast. He took the compass he had packed and headed inwards, trying to ignore the small movements he thought he could see out of the corner of his eyes.

The journey through the woods was torture for poor Arthur, who stumbled at every step, his heart skipping a beat and stomach lurching as shadows moved, twigs snapped and leaves crunched. He was sure he was being watched, but for all the things he thought he saw out of the corner of his eye, he hadn't seen anything yet.

Before leaving he had used a sextant to work out an approximate distance the ball went and he estimated it was at least a six hour walk, but at this fear-induced stalling pace it would probably be twice that. Unfortunately he only bought the sextant because the name amused him and he thought it looked smart on the wall, he wasn't entirely sure he had used it correctly so who knew how long it might take.

Arthur trudged a long, pausing occasionally for food and water breaks. He was constantly scanning the floor of the woodland for the ball, and monsters.

Somehow the dark and cold woods seemed to have become a lot cooler, and goosebumps ran along Arthur's arm. Fighting a shiver he pulled on a thick jumper. Through a gap in the trees he saw the sun overhead and realised it was now late afternoon. He had been so distracted that he hadn't thought about when he should turn back or even tracked how far he had gone. Now he was deep, deep into the woods feelings of exhaustion hit him like the crash of a wave. He didn't know what to do or where to go. The last thing he wanted to do was just give up after coming so far.

He pushed on, the ground sloping gently upwards into a darkness between the trees. It got to a point where he found himself using his hands to help him scrabble up a ridge. As his head passed the top of the ridge he smiled.

In front of Arthur lay an opening in the trees, not just a stray beam of sunlight but a veritable meadow, a sunny and wide open space. Lush grass grew around an old tree stump in the centre of the clearing, and on top of that lay the ball he had been searching for.

He pulled himself over the top of the ridge with all his might and ran to the ball, as he broke the trees he was bathed in the warm sunlight and felt the goosebumps fade from his skin. He grabbed the ball and held it up in triumph. The ball was a bit large for his small hands though and he slipped to the floor. As he lent to retrieve the ball a crunch from behind him made him freeze.

He felt like a deer caught in the eyes of a predator. Cautiously, slowly he started to turn but suddenly the beast hit him in the chest and he fell once again, to the ground with a scream..

Alfred had managed to keep a calm head and he strolled through the woods with confidence. At first he was saddened to find Arthur gone, but this turned quickly to worry as the day went on and no one seemed to realise where the other boy was. By lunchtime Alfred had made his way into the woods, following a faint trail of trodden grass and broken twigs.

Whilst Arthur might have been slow in his movements, he hadn't been careful and it wasn't difficult for Alfred to stay on his trail, the large boy moving quickly through the trees, ignoring the voice in his head that wanted to pause in fright at every little movement and sound, focussed on one thing.

As he approached a long slope leading into a dark, shaded area he heard a bloodcurdling scream that shook him to the core. It was a scream of fear and pain and suffering, and it was Arthur's scream!

"I'm coming Arthur, hold on! I'm coming!"

Alfred ran with everything he had, his feet slamming so hard against the soft ground that it hurt his knees, but he didn't slow for a moment and was scrabbling over the ridge in seconds.

As he got to his feet he could hear the unexpected sound of giggling and there in a grassy clearing in the woods lay Arthur, with the fluffiest bunny sat on on his chest.

"You're okay!" said Alfred with a sigh of relief.

Arthur, startled by the unexpected presence of Alfred rose to his feet with a jump, sending the bunny flying through the air. It turned it's head as if offended and hopped off into the bushes, it's little tail wiggling promiscuously.

"Alfred! How on Earth did you find me? I thought I was going to be lost in here forever! I thought I would end up being eaten. I tho-" Arthur was interrupted as Alfred's arm's clamped around him in the warmest hug. His mind went blank as he relaxed in the moment, feeling safe within Alfred's embrace.

Then something occurred to Alfred, and he pushed Arthur back to get a good look,

"I heard a scream, what happened? Are you okay?!"

Arthur shifted with embarrassment, "Ah, uh, bunny surprised me, and hey look I found your ball!", he held up the ball proudly.

Alfred smiled, endeared by the boy's valiant effort and success, even if it had made him worry so. He embraced Arthur again, holding his head gently in his hands and pulling him close until their lips met. The fear of the woods had melted away whilst they stood entwined. As the late afternoon sun began to fade they held each other even tighter, grasping for warmth until a frenzy of desire overtook them.

Alfred pushed Arthur to the floor of the clearing, the soft luscious grass might as well have been a marshmallow mattress for how soft it was. Clothes were pulled with a lustful greed, Arthur found himself driven wild by taste as his tongue felt every inch of Alfred's chest. Alfred's hands grasped at Arthur's hips, and he gently nibbled at his neck.

Darkness fell though the boys were oblivious to it, aware only of the sensations of one another as they tumbled on their bed of grass until they came to rest, exhausted.

"I guess the woods aren't as bad as everyone says" Arthur smiled, as he lay with his head on Alfred's warm, comforting chest. He had never been more relaxed, never felt so safe and sedate as they drifted off.

As they slept, a large, bright moon crept over the sky, covering them in silver light. As the moon reached its apex a terrifying, ear ringing howl was heard through the night, rousing the boys with a fright.

Arthur clung tight to Alfred, inadvertently digging his fingernails deep into his back, so hard that he drew blood! Both boys were locked, frozen in terror as they heard frantic rummaging in the woodlands of the beast that had howled. They couldn't tell where the noise had come from, but whatever had made it, was not a creature they wanted to meet.

Alfred helped Arthur to his feet, "Get dressed! Let's go! We have to run!" he said, desperately trying to pull his trousers on, but finding the legs twisted inside out, whilst the other just stood, frozen in fear as the sounds of the beast drew closer.

And then the beast was before them, stood at the top of ridge they had climbed earlier. It stood about seven feet tall on muscular hindquarters, sleek grey fur that shimmered silver in the moonlight lay over thick muscles, and a snarling mouth with large teeth that could tear them apart. A werewolf!

The wolf howled again, and walked towards them on two legs as a human would.

"Do you think he's going to eat us?" Arthur asked in a trembling voice.

"I don't think so..." replied Alfred, gesturing towards the beast.

Arthur's jaw dropped as he caught sight of the thick, vein-rich, pulsing cock and rapidly growing larger and harder as it approached them.

Epilogue:

No one knows for sure how the rest of this quaint woodland escapade goes down, but as the literary camera pans outward the reader visualises America, spread out on his back, head rolling around in ecstasy. Arthur straddles the lucky man's stomach whilst he licks the werewolf's pleasingly smooth chest, gradually working his tongue across the ripples of muscle and towards the long hard cock pounding into Alfred.

In the background, bushes part to reveal a dragon-like figure, plated blue skin with a throbbing hard-on, slick with precum and wanting to fuck your mouth. For a brief moment the dragon creature tries to remember if maybe he was supposed to be a vampire, he rolls a d20 on the ground, shrugs, then continues.

His muzzle glistening with the juices of an APH fangirl, the dragon looks to the reader and says:

"Happy Valentine's Day K! But remember, this is **to be continued..** " _(The dragon points at his unsucked dick.)_

The reader feels a pang of guilt mixed with excitement, such as that one might experience after receiving a lengthy oral sex session from a dragon and not returning the favour before running out to catch a flight out of the country.


End file.
